So, I swear that this will not be preachy. I have no interest in converting anyone (I’m not even religious). But I think knowledge that has been built upon and passed down for thousands of years has some good stuff to offer about self love and healing.
I read this Quran based article recently on how to deal with being unloved by your parent. Basically, it quoted a passage about how humans were born into a place of dignity because Allah made a beautiful world for them. So, you are special and can value yourself and love yourself by just recognizing that. Here’s the article: http://islamicsunrays.com/value-yourself/.
You DO matter. Every religion teaches that and so does the secular world (just think about how in school you were taught that you are special and should love yourself). Or think about The Help: You is kind, you is smart, you is important. It’s true and everyone deserves to feel that way. If you didn’t get that from your parents, give it to yourself.
Heal your inner child (which is what Buddhism recommends). Read anything by Thich Naht Hanh if you aren’t religious (because the Buddhism he practices completely agrees with science). One of his biggest suggestions is to coddle yourself. Hold your anger like a crying baby and just focus on processing it so you can feel better. Do that with your sadness, fear, everything you need help with. Basically by giving yourself the parental love you never received, you can heal.
Also, Thich Naht Hanh talks about how everything is everything because nothing can exist without everything else. Think about all the things that made you you. Thousands of family members before you, the food you eat, the people who grew your food, the people who educated you, everything that has given you a memory, etc. So, you are never just alone with yourself and your sadness: You can get the comfort and love you need from a beautiful tree or your dog. A parent’s love is not actually more significant.
You can also look at Christianity and see God as the ultimate parent. He is the one who made you and your parents and everything else so without Him none of it could exist. He really is the parent who matters, and He will always love you.
Judaism puts a lot of focus on honoring your parent but also makes it clear that self protection is very important. So one thing that rabbis recommend is to become a good parent. Then, you are honoring the role of parenthood but are not putting yourself in harm’s way. I find this very helpful because I do love my mother but it’s not safe for me to be around her. So, if you’re feeling guilty that you have cut yourself away from your parent because your parent did give you life, you can pay tribute in this way. Also, some rabbis just say that abusive parents are straight up evil and you don’t owe them or their role anything because of what they have done. Just pick whatever way to look at things works for you.
Hinduism also writes off abusers as idiots who don’t need to be paid attention to. They’re just like birds squawking. Also, it says that they no longer have any right to be paid attention to by the people they hurt because of what they’ve done.
Hopefully somewhere in here I’ve summarized a belief that will help you in some way. If not, I wouldn’t give up on finding comfort in religion. You can google different spiritualities or go to places of worship and talk to the leaders or ask your friends. There’s bound to be something that will feel right and help you move towards being happy. (P.S. You don’t have to believe in the religion to get help from it. If there is a teaching that is true to you, you should use it. You don’t have to convert or worry about being a Hindu who found truth in Islam. Just look at it as a piece of information).